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MEMBERS BLOG:  MONTHLY FOCUS-MARRIAGE, SINGLE, FAMILY AND RELATIONSHIPS MEMBERS BLOG: MONTHLY FOCUS-MARRIAGE, SINGLE, FAMILY AND RELATIONSHIPS

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Thu, Mar 26 2009
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PART FOUR - RELATIONSHIP
The dictionary describes a relationship in four ways: 1. connection: a significant connection or similarity between two or more things, or the state of being related to something else, 2. behavior or feelings toward somebody else: the connection between two or more people or groups and their involvement with one another, especially as regards the way they behave toward and feel about one another, 3. friendship: an emotionally close friendship, especially one involving sexual activity, 4. connection by family: the way in which two or more people are related by birth, adoption, or marriage, or the fact of being related by birth, adoption, or marriage.

 
 
 
Let’s look at President Obama and Michelle. The relationship has been set before the world. What do you see? I see a wife at her husband’s side whenever needed. She is supportive, loving, firm, and still beautiful. A mother to her children, a daughter to her mother, and a role model to women around the world. 
 
There are several types of relationships-- let’s look at a few:

SURVIVAL RELATIONSHIPS - These exist when partners feel like they can't make it on their own. The choice of a partner tends to be undiscriminating, made out of emotional starvation and almost anyone available will do. This involves relating at its most basic: "Without you I am nothing; with you I am something." The survival involved may be physical as well as emotional, including the basics of finding shelter, eating, working, and paying bills. For example, a drug addict may be connected with a rigid, regimented partner who holds things together. In such a connection, the desperate quality of my choice is based more on my needs than on what you actually can offer me.
 
VALIDATION RELATIONSHIPS - A person may seek another's validation of his or her physical attractiveness, intellect, social status, sexuality, wealth, or some other attribute. Sex and money are especially common validator’s. In response to a sexually unsatisfying relationship, a person may choose a new partner with whom sexuality is central. Many teen-agers and young adults who are looking for a sense of identity form relationships based on physical or sexual validation. The packaging tends to be very important: physical beauty, sharp clothes, a cool car and the package of romantic images which fit the reference group the person wants to be a part of.
 
SCRIPTED RELATIONSHIPS - This common pattern often begins when the partners both are just out of high school or college. They seem to be "the perfect pair," fitting almost all the external criteria of what an appropriate mate should be like. The marriage involves living out their expectations for the roles they learned they were supposed to play. He has the "right" kind of job and she is the "right" kind of wife and they have the "right" kind of house or apartment or condo in the "right" place. Their families think it's the perfect match. These relationships are intended to be for the long haul. They are often very child-focused. Everyone is getting raised at the same time: The parents are growing up while they're raising the children.  READ MORE...
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